We’ve all heard that a thousand times, but what does it really mean? After all, “getting even” is usually short-lived, and will invariably take you deeper into conflict. As humans, we enjoy feeling good.
So how can we feel good without getting mad – or getting even? Easy! Get curious, and you will most likely bring a conflict to a positive resolution.
When you feel yourself getting upset, step back and ask yourself questions before you get mad. Questions like:
- Is there something I might have done or said to lead to this reaction?
- What can I say or do differently to get better results?
- What could be going on in this person’s life to make them act this way?
- What can be going on that is contributing to this situation?
- Let me observe and notice – Can I help this person or do I politely end this interaction?
By being curious instead of mad, in addition to feeling better, you will be less emotionally involved. You will feel and be calmer as opposed to feeling emotionally drained. But don’t take my word for it… do it! Next time you feel yourself getting mad, stop and shift to curious. You’ll be amazed how much calmer and more empowered it will make you feel, and how it will help you master the situation.
Don’t get mad, get curious!